In My Time Of Dying
by Bitterness11
Summary: He stared down at his own pale sleeping face, Zero Kiryu. His lifeless unmoving body was lying on the hospital white bed, while his broken spirit was standing far away waiting to be noticed. If Kuran was the one who killed him, why was he trying desperately to wake him up! KaZe
1. Between Life And Death

**Author's Note:** Yeah... A new KaZe story, I hope u all enjoy it :)

**Disclaimer:** This idea came to me when I was thinking about a Korean drama series I watched years ago, and as usual... I couldn't resist -_-

Anyway, anything about the 49 days is not true; it's just an old legend that has nothing to do with the reality.

**Warnings:** Spellings and grammars mistakes.

**Summary:** He stared down at his own pale sleeping face, Zero Kiryu. His lifeless unmoving body was lying on the hospital white bed, while his broken spirit was standing far away waiting to be noticed. If Kuran was the one who killed him, why was he trying desperately to wake him up?!

...

* * *

Zero shut his eyes tightly while he was running to the woods, why Yuuki has to adore that damn pureblood monster so much?! Damn it!

Stopping and leaning on the tree while he was panting heavily, he lifted his hand to his burning throat, he is nothing but a burden to her, it just like Kuran had said, he is just one of her most worries and fears.

_**I have to destroy all of her fears.**_

He gasped when his knees gave out and he sat shakily on the cold grass. He lifted his crimson eyes up to the dark sky.

_**And that includes me.**_

He shut his eyes tightly and scratches his pale neck with his clawed fingers, what's happening?! These thoughts ... Are they his own?

He held his Bloody Rose tightly in his shaking fists ... He stared with awe when he lifted his own hand and pointed the gun at his chest...

**No! That's not me...!**

_**For her sake...**_

_**I have to disappear.**_

And the sound of a loud gunshot was heard in the field of Cross Academy.

...

* * *

Lavender eyes opened widely all of sudden; he groaned softly and lifted his hand to his own chest. He froze, when he realized there wasn't any pain, he stared with wide shocked eyes at his blooded white shirt, but there wasn't any wound, is he already dead?!

"Zero Kiryu"

He lifted his wide-eyes up, then he noticed the darkness around him, where did that voice has come from?!

His gaze turned wary, he turned around hoping to see any form of light, but there was nothing other than the gravely darkness that surrounds him.

"Do you want to die that badly?"

Clinching his hands to fists, he gritted his teeth "Who are you?! Show yourself!"

He turned his wary narrowed eyes all around him, no matter how he searched, he found nothing!

"Poor child, do you think you are still alive?"

His clinched fists loosened, he shouldn't be surprised, he remembers the gunshot, it doesn't matter if he had done it to himself or he had been manipulated to do it to himself, maybe that pureblood has played with his mind and done it.

His shoulders slumped in defeat, it doesn't matter if it was that bastard's doing or not, he is already dead.

He mumbled with a somber gaze in his lavender pale eyes "I didn't kill myself"

"You didn't cross the line to the afterlife yet, you still have a chance"

He lifted his eyes hopefully at the darkness; he took hold of himself and bit his lower lip, why he wants to live anyway? Wasn't he always wishing he would just die?! Why is he still clinging on the damn life so helplessly?!

_Is it because of Yuuki..?_

No ... She would be sad but, she has that pureblood she loves so much beside her, she would be just fine.

_Then why?_

Does he want to continue living like a Level D vampire hunter? He was going to his end anyway, so why he doesn't end it here and now?

To end his suffering existence.

_**'Kiryu!'**_

He flinched when he heard the voice that called out for him, it was from afar, so far, but it was there!

_**'Damn you Zero! Wake up!'**_

He covered his eyes with his arm when a sudden bright light blinded his vision.

_**'You can't just die!'**_

Whose was ... That voice?! It wasn't Yuuki's.

He shut his eyes tightly, he felt himself starting to doze off, before he blacked out completely he heard a low whispers

"If you want to ever wake up, you have to find a person who truly loves you, the only one who will give you a pure true tear"

"49 days, if you didn't have the true tear before that time, you will never wake up, ever"

_**'49 days'**_

**So be it.**

...

* * *

**Day 1**

Waking up with a gasp, he sat up swiftly to survey the room with his wide-eyes, his sudden movement caused him to lose his balance, and he reached his arm out to lean on something ... Anything!

He cursed loudly when he meets nothing but thin air; he closed his eyes when he fell awkwardly on the hard floor.

"Damn it!" He rubbed his butt and froze when he noticed it wasn't hurting all, his face paled when he remembered the nightmare he had. He lifted his wide eyes to look around him, a relieved sigh escaped his lips when he knew he was in a hospital room, and he had just fallen from the bed.

If they had brought him to the hospital then he must be ok, or at least alive. He shivered slightly when he remembered that nightmare, it was plainly weird!

A small smile graced his lips when he saw the door opening, and the headmaster and Yuuki have entered the room. He swiftly rose on his feet, he never thought he will be happy to see the two of them so much someday, he walked away from the bed to meets them, it's all that stupid nightmare fault.

He stopped walking with a light frown on his face, they didn't seem happy in seeing him awake, how long was he sleeping anyway?

He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed how their gazes were resting on the bed behind him. He murmured "Headmaster ... Yuuki ..."

Yuuki was walking towards him, but her eyes never met his, her somber gaze was focusing on the bed right behind him. The fear has started to consume him, he yelled at the still walking Yuuki "Yuuki I'm here right in front of you! Stop playing around it's not funny!"

He froze, and his eyes widened in shock when Yuuki has walked right through his body. He turned around slowly, while his mind was trying to register what just has happened. Yuuki didn't just walk through him, did she?!

He stared wide-eyes at the two figures standing next to the bed; he walked slowly to the headmaster who was wiping his tears "Headmaster, I'm here! Can't you see me?!"

"Please, wake up soon, Zero"

He stared shocked at the headmaster; he followed the older man's gaze and froze when he saw the figure that was lying unmoving on the hospital white bed.

The skin that was paler than normal, the short silver hair that was slightly messy, the silver earrings on his ear, it was Him!

He stepped back with wide pale lavender eyes, that wasn't a nightmare, he wasn't dead, but he wasn't alive either.

That explain why they didn't notice him, they aren't able to see him, it's like in the legends and the imaginary stories, he was just a spirit.

A spirit that only have 49 days to find a true tear, from a person who truly loves him. If he didn't, those closed eyelids won't open ever again.

He stepped back till his back meets the wall behind him, his eyes were doll when he kept his gaze rested on the two figures standing in front of him. He isn't stupid; he has no hope at all. The headmaster was crying at the moment, and he could see the tears that run down Yuuki's cheek, if their tears weren't what he is suppose to find, then who else would cry for him?!

He sat slowly on the cold floor, it just a matter of days before he is gone for good. He even doesn't remember he had made his choice to take the chance, no he didn't give that mysterious voice an answer, but maybe ... His heart did, after he heard the voice who was calling out for him.

His blank eyes stared at Yuuki and the headmaster's backs, they shouldn't waste their time here, and they shouldn't bother, because from now on, he is as good as dead.

He heard the headmaster's quiet and hoarse voice "It has been a week already, do you think he is going to wake up, Yuuki?"

An impish smile appeared on his lips when Yuuki hit the old man hard on his back "Of course he will headmaster! You know how stubborn Zero is!" Her teary eyes glanced at his lying body "I hope he will wake up soon, though"

He closed his eyes when he felt the sting of tears, he leaned his head on his knee and mumbled in a shaky voice "I'm sorry Yuuki; I don't think I'm going to make it this time"

...

* * *

**Day 2**

Zero stared with sorrowful gaze at Yuuki's back, she was sitting quietly on a chair next the bed, and she had brought a picture for them with her and put it on the nightstand next to his bed.

As for the nightstand, the old man had brought it, and he also felled the room with stupid bright flowers.

"You have to wake up Zero, please" Yuuki's voice was quiet but he was able to hear it clearly "I don't understand what happened..." Her voice was shaking when she continued "Kaname-sinpai said you didn't shoot yourself, he told me is going to find who was responsible for this"

He snorted at the last statement, there is no one responsible for this but Kuran. Apparently he thought he wasn't useful anymore, thus he decided to move him from his way.

He doesn't want to leave Yuuki on her own, but he knows Kuran won't harm her, if anything, he might have killed Zero just protect Yuuki. His thirst has become dangerous, and maybe Kuran doesn't want to give him his blood anymore.

The pureblood has offered his own blood instead of Yuuki's, whenever he was suffering from his thirst the bastard always finds him. He was demanding him to drink, and he never hesitated to use any violence at the matter.

He shifted slightly on his position on the floor, he didn't move from yesterday, spirits don't sleep, and they don't get tired.

He frowned lightly when a thought crossed his mind; Yuuki loves him like a brother, that's why her tears didn't affect him. That means he must find someone who loves him romantically, he chuckled to himself when a face of a certain day class girl with glasses popped into his mind, the girl might likes him, but she definitely wasn't in love with him. Hell, if she was, he won't be stuck here until this time.

...

* * *

**Day 3**

Still sitting calmly on his position on the floor, he lifted his blank gaze to the window above his head. He stared at the dark sky outside, those twinkle stars, so far away, had there not been happiness for him very long ago?

Even in his dying, he has to suffer. Full two days have left, and the third is on their steps. He hates waiting; he always hated waiting things, and now for him to wait for his inventible death to come ... It's suffocating him.

Why he was given a chance anyway? Oh yeah ... An extra suffering.

He flinched when he heard the door opening then closing softly, could it possibly be a nurse?

His eyes widened and he rose swiftly to his feet, a nurse won't wear a black shirt and black pants. Of course, who else comes in the night other the night creature, vampire, or to be exact ... _Pureblood_.

He glared hatefully at the dark figure that was walking gracefully towards the bed. Why is he even here? Did he come to finish him off?!

He clinched his fists tightly, now he can see Kuran's features clearly from the moonlight that was entering through the window.

Kuran was standing quietly on the other side of the bed; he was looking down at his sleeping body with indifferent eyes.

He walked towards the bed and stood facing Kuran with the bed between them, he hissed even if he knows the other won't be able to hear him "Happy now? Seeing me at this state makes you pleased?! Or you want me to suffer more than this?!"

He blinked the tears away from his eyes; he lifted his shaking hand to wipe the tears that ran down his cheek with the back of his palm. Why he felt all these emotions when he saw this bastard? He was fine before he came here.

He watched Kuran's indifferent features for a moment, lowering his shoulders helplessly, he said in a slightly shuddered voice "If you came here to finish what you started, just do it already"

"Idiot"

He flinched when he heard that deep calm voice, he stared wide eyes when Kuran lifted his hand and brushed his silver bangs gently away from his pale sleeping face.

He returned his shocked gaze to Kuran's still blank face, is he ... Dreaming?!

His wide lavender eyes watched without blinking, when Kuran bit his wrist and drown his own blood, before he leaned on the bed and covered his lips with Zero's pale and slightly cold lips gently.

He gasped in shock when his mind registered what was happening in front of him, Kuran was giving him his precious blood, while using this intimate way!

Just what's this pureblood is thinking?!

He felt his hands turned cold when the realization hit him, Kuran wasn't the one who killed him, and right now ... He was trying to help him, he was trying to wake him up.

He wasn't aware of the lonely tear that ran down his cheek; he watched silently when Kuran finely moved away from his lips with a deep frown on his beautiful face.

He chocked "I'm not going to wake up, Kuran" an impish smile appeared on his pale lips, when he continued _"But ... Thank you"_

...

* * *

**AN:** I used 'Killed' instead of 'Tried to kill' because Zero thinks he was dead and he will never wake up.


	2. The Hope I Had

**Author's Note:** It has been awhile since I updated, it was stupid of me to take a long time for a break I nearly forgot how to write again.

I apologize for the delayed.

Thank u everyone who reviewed, and added the story to their favorites and alerts, I'll do my best for u :)

**Warnings:** spellings and grammars mistakes.

* * *

**Day 4**

Pale lavender eyes stared with a bored gaze at the headmaster's back. Why this old man came here today as well?! Couldn't he figure it out already?! He will never wake up.

The time was barely moving; he held a sigh and turned his gaze towards the window. He wants to die already, he wants to just disappear.

He tried to take a walk outside earlier today, but of course a spirit like him won't ever be able to open the doors or the windows. He will just be stuck here for the last 46 days. What a bore, really.

He blinked when he heard the door opening, could it be Yuuki? But she has school at this time of day, right?

Turning around with a slight frown on his pale face, a low gasp escaped his lips, when he saw Kuran walking to the other side of the bed. What does he want? Coming here in the daylight like this?! It is not like he wants him to sneak in it just...

He shoved his thoughts away and focused his attention on the two persons in front of him. Cross didn't seem surprised with Kuran's appearance at all, in fact... It seems like he was waiting for him.

He tilted his head with furrowed eyebrows when the headmaster said with a smile "What is it you wanted to tell me Kaname-kun? And why we should discuss it here from all the places?"

Before hearing Kuran's answer, he cursed lowly when he felt the heat on his cheeks. He had decided that what happened last night was just a horrifying nightmare, there was no way Kuran would give him his blood like that, as if he was concerned for his well being!

But now seeing this pureblood bastard standing in front of him as if he hadn't done anything made him irritated. Why was Kuran staring at his sleeping face as if he was the most nuisances in this world?! Well... He shouldn't be asking himself this stupid question, Kuran was always looking at him like that. Maybe it was because of the darkness last night he didn't see this sadist pureblood expressions clearly, but now he bet that Kuran didn't do it for his own behalf, sure it was for...

"She didn't ask, but I knew Yuuki wanted me to give him my blood, so I did. It didn't work" Kuran's cold statement cut off his amusing. So it was _for Yuuki after all_, of course it was. He stared at the pureblood with narrowed eyes, what does he have more to say? Could he possibly have another solution? No that's impossible... Only he himself knows what he has to do.

_That damn stupid tear...!_

He turned his now bored gaze to the headmaster when he heard him talking "Oh so you did it after all, I was counting on it if he didn't wake up soon. But now... Actually I'm a little afraid that..."

"He won't wake up, am I correct?"

Gritting his teeth, he glared hatefully at the soundly calm vampire in front of him, who was staring blankly at the frowning headmaster. He tightened his fists, he was okay with never waking up, he truly was, but hearing the self centered bastard saying it so casually has made him want to prove him wrong, if only just to piss this demon off!

"If we only know who did this, we could get the answers we need. What is it that preventing him from waking up even with your pure blood running through his veins? Could it be some sort of spill we don't know about?"

He turned his still glaring eyes at the pureblood again, who spoke slowly with a calm tone "Or... Even if he looked like he was sleeping peacefully, and his body parts still work..." His eyes widened slightly while his blood had started boiling, when he saw Kuran lifting his hand and slapping his sleeping face not too roughly "He might be already dead"

"K... Kaname-kun, don't say such cruel things. I know you two didn't get along but could you stop what you are doing? Zero might get furious...!"

Oh hell he is _beyond furious!_ He smacked his fist angrily on the nightstand next to him. He froze when the vase that was on the nightstand has suddenly... Fell. His eyes watched with horror when the vase's glass shattered. He stared at the now wet ground, shocked. This broken vase, this shattered glass, and the ruined flowers on the floor, was it him who did this?! _How could..._

He lifted his gaze to meet maroon slightly wide eyes, was it shock he saw in those usually blank eyes? Wait... Did their gazes _just met?!_

He took a step back, while his eyes still connected to the other'. This feeling, there was a weird pain on his chest, as if his skin was burning. A relieved sigh escaped his lips when the pain suddenly stopped, and that was when Kuran finely closed his eyes, shook his head slightly and pinched the bridge of his nose. It seems Kuran didn't notice him after all, he just imagined it.

Why was he... Feeling _disappointed_ at the moment? Did he want to be noticed that badly? He might understand it if it was Yuuki, but this is Kuran he is talking about, he should be glad that the bloodsucking demon hadn't noticed him. Everything is bad enough; he doesn't need to make it worse.

He stepped back and leaned on the wall behind him when he heard the headmaster talking "Was that your doing, Kaname-kun?"

Kuran was still staring at the broken vase with a light frown, when he mumbled "Perhaps..."

He snorted; Kuran seemed to be doubting himself. That was a good payback, though it wasn't intentional. He blinked when the door opened suddenly, and a running Yuuki entered. She stopped with a light gasp when she saw the broken vase "What happened here?"

He made an innocent face, though no one was able to see it. Really, seeing Kuran hesitating like this had made him feel better. However his good mood didn't last long, he furrowed he eyebrows when he noticed the way Yuuki was looking at Kuran, was she actually... Glaring at him?!

"Kaname-sinpai, why are you here?" Oh yeah, she was definitely glaring. But why? What happened between them? It was just like the time when Kuran said he Zero, had killed Shizuka.

Maybe Yuuki knows something, maybe what happened to him was Kuran's fault, like he had first suspected.

"Yuuki, Kaname-kun just wanted to..."

He crossed his arms on his chest and stared with interest, when Yuuki cut her stepfather off "His presence makes Zero uncomfortable! Headmaster, you of all people should know that!"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, when he noticed Kuran's gaze had turned to the broken vase for the tenth time, does he still not convinced that it was his doing?! There is no way he would suspect him being here, even with his unique intelligence. This is beyond his smartass mind, even if it was bitter to say it; this is something only the ones in his position know about. The ones who neither were actually living, nor crossed the path to the afterlife yet. It was just like he was in the other side of the mirror, he was able to watch them, hear them, _but they would never sense his watching eyes,_ nor his lifeless movements. Hell, what sight is more horrifying than seeing your own body lying on the white bed?

As creepy as it was, now he was able to read every emotion written on their faces. He could see the fear behind the headmaster glasses, he could see the deep sadness in Yuuki's angry gaze, and he could see the confusion behind Kuran's calm features. Maybe it wasn't because the state he was currently in, but because he has nothing do but watching. Yeah, he has been drowning in his own misery, aside from Yuuki, he never cared to watch anyone else, and he never tried.

"Headmaster, we will talk later"

He stared at Kuran's retreating back, what possibly he wanted to talk about? It might concern him... Or maybe Yuuki.

After the pureblood had closed the door behind him, the headmaster took a deep breath "Yuuki, what happened between you two?"

He turned his gaze to Yuuki, who was picking up the shattered glass with her bare hands "Kaito-kun told me, Kaname-sinpai's scent was on Zero when they brought him here"

_Kaito...?_ Frowning, he turned his gaze to the window, and to his surprise, he saw Kuran walking away normally under the sun as if he was a mare human. He didn't use his power, nor there was a Limo waiting for him. What on earth happened to the world...?!

Returning his thoughts to what Yuuki had said, he doesn't remember meeting Kuran that day. He rubbed his temples in attempt to clear his thoughts, now that he thought about it... He doesn't remember anything that happened that day! All he could remember is that he was running... From what? He doesn't know. And after that he shot himself.

The headmaster's whining cut off his deep thoughts "Oh my dear Yuuki stop you are going to hurt yourself! I'll clean this up don't worry about it"

With a sigh, he dropped his body on the floor. Does it worth looking for what truly happened to him? He is going to die anyway.

Kaito... When did Yuuki saw him anyway? Did he come to visit him sometime in the week before his spirit awakened?

_Maybe he did._

...

* * *

**Day 5**

Another long boring day, except there's no one came to visit. Sure it was better, it seems they started to believe that he already... _Gone._

He stared blankly at the crimson sunset. He wish he could leave like he wanted, just like this disappearing sun.

At first he thought, he would leave peacefully after these days are over. He thought Yuuki would soon get over it and be happy with Kuran, but now he doubts it.

Yesterday after the headmaster had left, Yuuki stayed. She cried, she exposed her hidden fears to him; she talked to his unmoving body between her sops. She said she won't ever forgive Kuran, she said they had a fight, and she shouted at his face with things she shouldn't say at all. She said she didn't mean to, but it appeared the bastard had taken it seriously, though it's rare for him to do so.

In the end, she said there is no more Kaname, and that she wants her brother Zero back. She doesn't want to be alone.

Can he be so selfish and leave her like this?! This is something Kuran might do, but not him. Even if he wanted to help her, what could he do?

He could use these days he has left and try to clear their misunderstanding, if it was a misunderstanding at all. At least he knows, he can't leave like this, he still have a lot of days. Even if there isn't any hope he might find that tear, he will try to help Yuuki, and if he couldn't, he will have to find that tear to stay with her.

He can't leave her alone in a dangerous world, without Kuran to protect her.

As he watched the sun's disappearing, he felt the heavy burden in his heart. No he can't leave yet, he has to find away. He doesn't want Yuuki to live the torment he calls life, he doesn't want Yuuki to suffer like him.

The world they live in wasn't peaceful and full of happiness, in the contrary; it was full of sins, betrayals, and anguish. It was just unending suffering. He of all people knows that.

Hearing the door opening, he turned his sorrowful pale violet gaze towards the nurse, who went to check on his sleeping body. He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed a middle aged woman had entered behind her, and now she was walking towards him.

This woman couldn't possibly be able to see him, right?! But why she was looking right back at him?!

He turned his body to fully face the strange woman, and looked at her questionably. When he was about to ask if the woman was able to see him, he nearly choke when the woman started suddenly "Don't be this confused, I can see you"

He opened his mouth to say something, to deny what she said, but hell... He sure as hell that he was more than confused.

When he kept silent, the woman continued "I was watching you the past two days; I knew we are in the same conditions when I saw the necklace"

Necklace? What is she talking about?! He turned his doubtful gaze to her hand when she lifted the necklace that was around her neck for him to see. He quickly glanced at his own neck; he felt his face paled when he saw that he was wearing the same. A necklace with a tear shaped pendant.

He lifted it hesitantly in his palm, his eyes still eyeing it suspiciously "What's this for?"

"You have no idea, I thought so"

He grimaced at the old woman, just because she knows more than him she...

"Let's sit down and talk, I'm tired"

He eyed the woman who sat down on the floor suspiciously, as for as he knows she seems to be a spirit like him, how could she be tired?!

"Don't give me that look, I came here to help you, if you have any questions just ask, I'm not your enemy"

She didn't seem happy with his attitude, as if he gives a damn. He blurted out "You are just like me, how could you get tired?!"

"Oh boy, I see you had it rough, I'm in this state because my spiritual power has gotten weak"

His eyes widened slightly, now that she had said so, she looked _exhausted_, not only tired. Sitting down beside her, he crossed his legs "Why? Did you use a spill or something?"

A light frown appeared on his pale face, when she laughed weakly and shook her head "No, there is no such a thing. It is only because... My days are about to end, I have only two days left"

He gasped, and stared at her, unbelieving "You couldn't find a tear!"

He kept staring at her wide-eyes, when she chuckled "Who would cry for a woman like me? Sadly, I have only my family, and as you already know their tears aren't a count. I will tell you everything I know to help you, but before that... Can you hear a soon would be dead lady out?"

He felt sorry for this woman, she looked nice and kind-hearted. He would never think this woman would be able to hurt anyone, and for her to face this cruel fate, it's really saddened him.

He nodded "I have a lot of time to waste anyway"

She chuckled again, before a sad smile formed on her lips "I'm an ordinary woman, I have a..." She went silent for a moment, before she corrected herself "I had a happy family, or at least that what I had thought. I had a loving husband, two sweet children. One is around your age, while the other is in the middle school. After I got married, and with the happy life I had with my children, my relationship with my old friends had been cut before I even notice, and when I did... It was too late. I have none but the family I tried so hard to keep happy"

She leaned her head on the wall, and stared at the ceiling with her sad smile still in place "A little months before the incident, I knew my husband was cheating on me. I didn't get mad, now I wish I did, instead I got depressed. And yet again, without me noticing I got distracted from watching over my sweet children. After a while I discovered that my first son was taking drugs, and he tried to... Kill himself. I was able to prevent him from throwing his body from the building, but I fell instead"

He noticed the silent tears on her cheek when she lowered her head to hide them. She needed to talk to someone after that, she was lonely just like him. Maybe she had already talked to her family but they weren't able to listen, _and they will never be._

"It wasn't his fault, I was reckless, I'm really happy that my son is fine but... His guilt is killing him" she sopped quietly before continuing "In those past days, I tried my best, somehow I was able to make his father notice his condition, and he had sent him to a hospital instantly. I thank god for that but... I wasn't able to tell him that it's fine, he will never be relieved from his guilt, and I know he loved me so much"

She lifted her pale hand to wipe her tears away, before she turned her gaze towards him "When I first saw you, you reminded me of my son, especially your lost sad gaze. I wanted to help you; I wanted to come to you sooner so that you won't waste any of your days. You might think you have a lot of time ahead of you, but you are wrong. Our time is limited, these days are so precious, and you can't waste any of them." She turned her face away from him "Believe me; I knew from the beginning that I won't be able to get that tear, but I didn't waste the chance. I did my best to help my children, day by day, I watched over them. I knew how much they loved me; I knew how much I meant to them. My only regret is... If only... If only I can say goodbye, if only I can tell them to take care, I want them to know how much I loved them... And still"

_Leaving without saying goodbye,_ although he wanted to die the days before, he was regretful that he wasn't able to say goodbye. He wanted to thank Yuuki for standing beside him, he wanted to thank Cross for taking care of him and watching over him all the past years. He wanted to...

A pale slender hand gripped his palm, and he lifted his surprised gaze to the woman's warm eyes "Stop wishing and make it true, your eyes today looked different from the days before, you want to live, right? At least you want to try, you have to try. Even if you couldn't find a tear, you have to serve your purpose. If there is something you think you have to do before your death then you have to do it. This isn't just another chance in living; this is also a chance for you to do things you weren't able to do, and to fix your mistakes if you have any. You shouldn't waste it boy... Many people had died without being able to rethink their deeds and behaviors. Although of course... Even if we did so hard, there must be still regrets remains"

He frowned lightly before he asked "Let's say I wanted to live, how the hell can I get that tear if they even can't sense my presence?!"

A warm smile appeared on her lips "As I thought, so you don't have any idea..."

He tilted his head slightly while his frown deepened, she continued "As I told you, I never tried anything to gain that tear, but as I heard, you can use a normal human body when they are asleep. Also you should be careful so they won't notice it, if anyone knew about that your chance will be gone, and you will be punished as well."

_What the hell?!_ He mumbled "Using... What?!"

She closed her eyes for a moment, then she answered "See this necklace, if it felt the danger that you will be exposed it will burn you, you have to find a way to cover it as quickly as possible. If you couldn't and you got exposed it well shatter, and you as well"

"I'm getting tired, I have to be quick" She started to get up, he stood as well to help her while she continued "I fear I won't be able to visit you again son, but if you want you can find me in the room next yours. Listen, search for a body that well accept you, and treat it well. Try to talk to your friends using that body, try to find that tear, and try to live"

"If you couldn't, just do what you have to... _Before you close your eyes forever"_

It took him awhile, before he realized that the sun had long ago... _disappeared._

...

* * *

**Day 6**

Yuuki came to visit today, he had made up his mind, he will go back with her to the Academy. There is no need for him to stay here, as that woman had said, it's just a waste.

He will try to use Yuuki's body when she is sleep tonight, if he was successful then he will figure something out to return things like before between her and Kuran. Then, he might be able to die peacefully.

When they finely entered the Academy, he took a different path from Yuuki, although he needs her to open the doors for him but he wanted to take a look around the school first, _he kind of missed everything._

Up until now, everything was like a dream to him. But when he returned here, he knew how cruel the reality could be. It has been a half hour since he was standing in front of the stable door, without being able to open it.

He stared at the wooden door helplessly, he just wanted to check on the horses, why it's so hard to do so?

Turning on his heels, he walked to the main building with slumped shoulders. He will just come back after taking Yuuki's body, that if he was able to take it.

He stopped and his eyes widened slightly, when he saw a figure he knows very well.

Kaito? What the hell was he doing here?! And why was he wearing a day class uniform?!

He didn't miss what was on Kaito's right arm, and the _silver gun_ he was holding in his hand.

It seems... _They had replaced him already._

* * *

The night had fallen; he was leaning on the wall next to Yuuki and Yuri's room. He was embarrassed to enter the girls' room, but he has to. Otherwise he will not accomplish anything.

And the time is running.

He moved from the wall when he saw Yuuki coming, and hastily entered after her.

He went to the farther corner of the room; he will just wait for her to fall asleep.

After some minutes he heard her soft snorting. Getting up and walking to her bed, he smiled softly before he murmured "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, Yuuki"

He leaned his spiritual body slowly; the woman had said if the body had accepted him everything will go so easily before he even notices.

A deep frown appeared on his pale face after a moment, _nothing happened._ It's clear... Yuuki's body won't accept him.

But... Why?!

He slowly lay down on the floor, and stared blankly at the ceiling. The only glimpse of hope he had before had vanished.

_He felt his heart shattered._


End file.
